On the importance of looking up

I guess sometimes Mom has a difficult time keeping her head up. I do too. I know she's trying not to look down so much, trying to keep that chin elevated to acceptable levels where view of the sky is much more attainable. I heard somewhere a long time ago that it's been scientifically proven that looking up actually does elevate mood and makes it harder to cry. Not sure if it's true but I guess it makes sense. However, knowing this doesn't always keep us from looking down. Some days, it seems that your head is so heavy and your neck so weak, that you can hardly look above where you're standing. Then sometimes, a black hole opens up beneath your feet. Then the madness of grief calls, threatening to suck you in. It's so hard to look away.

I remember last winter in my Saturday astronomy class. George hadn't even been gone a year, yet. I can't remember whether his birthday had come and gone. I remember my disinterest in smart phones up until that time. They were entirely too much phone for me. Then Mary showed me the most incredible app on her droid...Google Sky. Here we were, in the basement of the cold science building, the same building in which I had stood next to the vending machine the previous spring, shuddering and sobbing because my baby brother had just died. In this place that seemed far away from the sky, all I had to do was look at the screen on this marvelous little piece of technology and point it somewhere. Wherever I aimed it, it showed me the stars that were there beyond my own sight right at that moment. Amazing! I pointed it in multiple directions, searching the constellations, not bothering to catch all their names, just delighting in the fact that they were there. I pointed Mary's phone at the ground and lo and behold, below my feet and through the Earth, there was a sky on the other side, too. It showed me its stars from all that way, making down up and dazzling my perception.

I remembered this as I was standing in the shower today, thinking bout Mom's heavy head. One of my two favorite VNV Nation songs came onto my phone...yes, it's a droid. It reminded me that the whole Earth is surrounded by sky and that no matter where our eyes are pointed, in a way, we're looking up. The trick is remembering that. Mom is right, it is better to physically lift our eyes and marvel at the sky that is immediately over our heads. However, on those days when it's just too hard and the black hole is sucking us down, beyond it...and on the other side of the planet, there is still a sky we can look up to.  

I've posted this song before...one of my two favorites from George's iPod